My novel, "Finding Bonita" is now available in hardcover!

 Super excited, my second novel, "Finding Bonita" is now available for purchase! 

I hope you read it and love it as much as I loved writing it.

Will Bonnie ever discover the secret behind the mysterious Man With The Camera, and why she's always felt that something fundamental has been missing from her life?
Impactful childhood experiences form intriguing adults whose paths cross in life-altering ways. Their fates entangle in San Francisco and a tiny Caribbean island through sexual and existential obsessions, profound love, and epic loss.
Ted gets passionate about every new concept that comes his way. Jill just wants to be normal but what’s normal keeps changing. Rachel craves emotional connection and healing from compounding tragedies. When their lives collide in the 1970s, joy abounds until Ted’s next infatuation. Meanwhile, a child has been born.
Living in their periphery, with no small consequence, is Ivan, who would be happy to fish, grow ganja, and praise Jah if only he didn’t have to keep fighting off the devil.
This frolicking novel takes readers on an insightfully explicit adventure sprinkled with natural beauty, culinary delights, and confounding homicides.

If you never read my first novel, "Love, Sex, and Understanding the Universe," here's the link for that. 

 Book cover! Thrilled that I created a cover worth of the story. "Finding Bonita" will be released in September. You can mark it as "Want to Read" on Goodreads and you'll be notified when it's released. 

Super excited to be releasing my second novel, "Finding Bonita", this fall. Please click on the link to mark it as "Want to Read" on Goodreads and you'll be notified when it's released. 

Profound childhood experiences form intriguing often misguided adults whose paths cross in life altering ways as each embarks on quests for beauty, love, and meaning. Their quirky complex lives interweave in San Francisco and a tiny Caribbean island through romantic love, epic loss, culinary delights, sexual and existential obsessions, and tragic murder.
Knowing that the only way to assuage her emptiness is to discover the elusive truth behind the mysterious Man with the Camera, Bonnie’s life unravels into desperate sex with women she meets in lesbian bars.
Rachel finds healing from grief, and inspiration for art, on an island paradise, but she’ll never feel whole unless she can reconnect with the one ripped out of her arms long ago.
Attorney Henry is lured back to the tropical isle home of his youth by a confounding murder case and a passionate romance he hopes can survive the separate secrets he and his lover guard.
Ivan would be happy to fish, grow ganja, and praise Jah, if only he could stop having to battle the devil.
“Finding Bonita” is humorous and insightful and sometimes sexually explicit with an undercurrent of bisexuality and polyamory.

Bisexuality and Polyamory

Last month I wrote about bisexuals and monogamy and covered some of the reasons behind the stereotypes of bisexuals being confused and promiscuous. This month I'm going to discuss some of the other causes for these prejudiced views and the intersection of bisexuality and polyamory.

Heavily behind the confused and promiscuous stereotypes is another misconception about bisexuals: that we don’t exist. For those of you who are not bi, try to imagine what it felt like for me to have just typed that it’s claimed that I, and others like me, don't even exist.

When we bisexuals have been repeatedly confronted with this fallacy our whole life, it has an effect. The effect is especially pronounced when we are going through puberty.

As we are just coming into ourselves as sexual beings, trying — as those of all orientations do at that developmental stage — to understand the desires rising within us, we are told that what we feel isn't possible, isn't valid, and is in any case very wrong.  

Bisexuals, confused? Yes — though not in the way many people think — some of us do experience a lot of confusion. Some of us don’t have the strength, nor the support, to deflect or ignore the — excuse me but I know of no better way to express this — BS we have repeatedly been told. We fall victim to questioning our own experiences of ourselves.

In this era of hyper political correctness, biphobia is still tossed about with a shocking lack of consideration. Young bisexuals often take the ignorance and hatred to heart and squash or ignore their feelings for one gender or the other. However because they truly are bi, this usually isn't easy. Feelings keep rearing up.

Struggling to cope does often come across as confusion and even promiscuity. Teens and young adults, in an attempt to figure out if they are gay or straight — since they have been bombarded with messages that bisexuality is nonexistent — may seek multiple sex partners of each gender to discover which monosexuality is their orientation. Or they may take on multiple partners of various genders to “prove” to themselves and a disbelieving society that they are indeed bisexual.

Even those who welcome the bisexual identity in their earlier years still may find themselves questioning. As I wrote in last month's column, many bisexuals are monogamous and not the slightest promiscuous. For those who find a partner at a young age and settle into a long-term sexually faithful relationship, lack of experience with another gender will sometimes lead a bisexual to wonder if they truly are bi. This again is a result of repeated exposure to the fallacies that bisexuality is a made-up orientation, describes an adolescent phase, or is an excuse for unbridled hedonism.

Many bisexuals come out late in life, when they can no longer repress what they feel, when they stop invalidating whom they know they are. The need to finally embrace their authentic selves, to acknowledge to themselves and others the truth about who they are, can be just as pressing for bisexuals in monogamous relationships. Sometimes, and I emphasize sometimes, this long overdue acceptance of one’s bisexual nature comes with an urge to experience being with a gender other than that of their partner.

Often such an urge is acknowledged internally and then dismissed as not an option, as their commitment to fidelity is more insistent. Sometimes however, a bisexual may decide to discuss the option of polyamory with their significant other, especially if they believe their partner may be receptive to such a notion.

Still other bisexuals chose polyamory over monogamy right from the start, desiring to maintain the option to connect with multiple partners without reneging on a commitment of monogamy.

Just as with some gay and straight people, some bisexuals are simply interested in having the freedom to love and be sexual with multiple others. For them the choice for a more liberal relationship concept isn't any more connected to their sexual identity than it is for their fellow gays and straights who opt for polyamory.  

This article originally appeared as my January column in The Gayly.

BiCast Interview with Harrie Farrow Author: "Love, Sex, and Understanding the Universe."

I had a great time talking with the wonderful folks at BiCast. Our conversation covered everything from writing sex scenes, to writing from a male point of view.
BiCast Interview: Harrie Farrow on "Love, Sex, and Understanding the Universe." Bisexual themed novel.